Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Celebrate You


Hi. It's Laura. 

I have been writing this particular entry in my head for the last two weeks.  Every time I start well and my message is clear. I just have not been able to sit down long enough to write it down.

 About two weeks ago I went running with a friend of mine.  We were getting dressed and discussing what to wear based on the weather. She put on a very long T shirt that nearly looked like a dress. She told me that it was to cover her “large butt”.  My friend does NOT have a large butt.  It’s actually pretty small but she just doesn't see it that way.  I now know this is about her and her body issues. It saddens me that she would think so little (or big) of herself when I can see the beautiful person that she is. Which got me thinking about women and their body issues.

Last summer I volunteered at a Biggest Loser Run/Walk.  My first station was handing out the T-shirts for participants during registration.  It was an amazing turn out of people of all shapes and sizes. My second station was merchandise.

After the race everyone wanted a T-shirt or a hoody that says that they participated in the race. I totally get that! Who doesn't want to brag about their accomplishments (eh hum) anyway. I had a woman who wanted the baby blue hoodie. All I had left in baby blue was a medium.  The woman explained to me that she just lost 60lbs and this run/walk was her gift to herself. So we went through the table of hoodies looking for one that would fit her. 

Instead of baby blue we tried black in XL. She was swimming in it as it was so big.  Then she tried the royal blue in L. She thought it fit perfectly.  She still was looking at herself with the 60 extra pound eyes and she was wrong. It was way too big.  I asked her to please try on the baby blue medium. She refused claiming it would never fit her.  I finally convinced her to just try it. I felt like my mom trying to get me to try a new food. 

When we (I had a little help from a friend of hers) finally got her to try it on, I asked her to zip it up. It fit perfectly.  She didn't believe me.  Thanks to smart phones, I took her picture and showed it to her.  The look on her face was priceless. Her tears were contagious.  It was amazing to see someone who worked so hard achieve their goals.

I have so much to say on this topic that I lose my point once in a while please bear with me.

We all have parts of our bodies that we don't like which is most evident when you start comparing yourself to someone else.

Personally I have given that up. It is bad habit that needs to be broken like smoking and just as dangerous. The only opinion about you that counts is yours. I know easier said than done but like exercise it’s something you need to practice every day.

Giving up the habit of comparing yourself to others or hating your own body is not easy. We are bombarded with "perfect" images every day. Forget social media for now, that is a whole other beast. Magazine covers, billboards & television are enough not to mention that fat- shamers and bullies among us. Other people’s opinion of you are none of your concern. Are you still looking through a magazine and wishing you could like that? No pores, perfect skin, long flowing glossy hair.  It’s all a lie.  Every single picture in a magazine and billboards, even movies, are photo -shopped.  Yes you too can be perfect with photo shop. There are enough photo shop GIF's out there.

To help convince you here is one of my favorites:
http://jezebel.com/photoshop-gifs-make-you-wonder-why-we-have-models-at-al-1455209793

 

and one other:
 
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/17-mesmerizing-before-after-photoshop-gifs
 

As for TV, it too is an illusion. Makeup artists, hair extensions and spanks lend themselves to the perfection illusion. 

Try to look at yourself as a whole person, not a body part. If you are comparing yourself to anyone else, stop it! You cannot be anyone else, EVER.   Back in 2002, I was dying to get my boobs done.   Seriously!  I did all the research online. I found out it was actual surgery and that it was expensive. I read all of the things that could go wrong simultaneously convincing myself, through celebrity photos, it was the right thing to do.  I desperately wanted bigger boobs.  But why? I got plenty of attention looking the way I did. There was a woman where I trained who had fake boobs.  She was cute and bubbly and not in saccharine way. I saw all of the attention she got just because of her boobs.   I ultimately decided that is not the kind of attention that I want for myself.  She was a smart girl too but no one would ever know that because they couldn't get passed the boobs.

I have not wanted to surgically enhance any part of my body since.  I have come to the realizations that I will never be 6', have thick hair or have big boobs.  I don't need to be 6', none of my clothes would fit. My hair is just fine. And as far as boobs go, I love the ones that I have. I am happy now that I never got it done.   I don't need to be anyone else.

I am strong, ambitious, athletic, nurturing, beautiful, smart, sassy full of energy and I love my life, my friends and my family. And they love me (most days anyway).

I continue to make discoveries about myself every day.  I am not perfect, I have my flaws, and we all do. I refuse though to eliminate whole food groups from my diet in order to be some else's definition of thin or to run a marathon because that is somebody else's definition of physical success. I run my own race, define my own success because no one else has traveled my journey, has my genes or embraces my same values.

Recent campaigns by both Dove Soap and The Today Show have tried to show women embracing themselves just as they are: beautiful.  Stripping them down to their underwear no matter their physical size and showing the world that every woman is to be embraced, not just the slender unrealistic models & celebrities that are glorified in media.

 I have an article to share with you that I found in the NY Times last May. It made me so sad that a person could be so disconnected from themselves. I Am Not This Body

You are a beautiful person. Celebrate you! Don't hate you. You only get one of yourself. It would be shame to go through life not liking how you look or wishing that you were someone else or had some else's body part.

Laura

 

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